We’ve all been there at one point. It may have been in high school, when we participated in that student performance, it may have been last week just before that big business presentation, job interview or even before that first date. The sweaty palms, the shallow breath, the dry mouth. The feeling of anxiety. Ergh.
Anxiety can occur in many forms and varying degrees. Some people have a general tendency to be fearful and some have acute panic attacks. A certain degree of anxiety before important events is normal and even helpful. Athletes deliberately use arousal to channel it into their performance. But anxiety can become an obstruction and burden. In the worst case anxiety reiterates itself, developing into the fear of the fear. Some dig themselves deeper and deeper into anxiety by repeating negative thoughts. „I’m not pretty enough. I’m not athletic enough. I don’t live healthy enough. I’m not good enough.“ Sound familiar? This is nowhere near a panic attack, but what I would call a light case of chronic, negative anxiety. So don’t panic – almost everyone does this. But wouldn’t it be nicer to be guided by positive thoughts?
There are two ways to reduce the feeling of mild anxiety.
One: we can ignore the fear and just try. Starting with small steps to assure ourselves that the world is not coming to an end. It’s essentially what we do when we practice. We may speak to a small crowd of familiar people before speaking in front of a larger, foreign audience. We may run a mile and then a half-marathon before running a full marathon. Find a situation in which you can overcome your fear without feeling too threatened.
Two: we can look fear in the eye. This is more of an awareness based approach. Let go of the judgement and just sit with it. Sit with the fear and observe it, become familiar with it until you can describe it in every single detail. Being pretty or athletic or living healthy are all value judgements that we can let go of. Simply focus on observing what you feel like and decide if you want to hang on to it or let go of it.
Most likely there’s an approach that works better for you and either approach takes time and patience. Especially when anxiety is a burden to you, find someone to guide you through the work. There is no shame in reaching out for help and seeking help is actually a natural reaction to stress.
Live a little more fearlessly every day.